Confidence. Sound familiar? We’ve all heard of it, but how many of us actually have it? If you think it’s the ability to look people in the eye or speak with conviction, you’re sorely mistaken. It’s about much more than standing in front of the mirror and saying, “I am a winner.” It’s about discipline, consistency, and acting despite fear. Want to be confident? Stop lurking, start doing the work.
What is self-confidence?
It is a state of mind that determines how we perceive ourselves, what choices we make, and how we respond to challenges. It is the courage to act despite fear, doubt, and uncertainty. It is the knowledge of one's own abilities, the trust in oneself, and the belief that you are able to cope and face everyday life.
Building self-confidence is a process that is based on working on yourself. Self-confidence is not an innate trait, it is a skill that you can learn. To gain self-confidence, you need to understand that everything can be worked out, and your strengths and weaknesses are signposts on the road to success. Building self-confidence is, above all, keeping your word, because nothing builds like achieving the goals we have set for ourselves.
People who are confident know who they are, what their strengths are, and are able to accept their weaknesses. Such people understand that a lack of self-confidence is not an insurmountable obstacle, but merely a signal that certain areas need to be developed.
Building self-confidence is strategic self-management, i.e. setting and achieving goals appropriately. It is a process that encompasses various areas of life. During it, you gain not only a greater sense of self-worth, but also the ability to resolve conflicts, effectively manage emotions and much more. Self-confidence will have a positive impact on your relationships. Authentic self-confidence is a state in which you are not afraid to be yourself, regardless of the environment you are in, you know what kind of person you are and you fully accept it.
How does self-esteem affect self-confidence?
At the beginning it is worth noting that self-esteem is inextricably linked to the process of building self-confidence. A healthy relationship with yourself, faith in your abilities and skills are solid foundations for action in private life and at work. True self-confidence is not about being perfect. It is about knowing that you are enough to face everyday life, using your positive sides.
But what makes your self-esteem grow? The key element is keeping your word. When you promise yourself to achieve something and then achieve it, you build faith in your own abilities. Every completed task, even the smallest, is a confirmation that you can rely on yourself. In this way, your self-esteem grows and you gain self-confidence. It's a kind of cycle: you set goals, you achieve them, you strengthen your faith in yourself, which gives you the strength to continue.
On the other hand, when you don’t keep your word to yourself, you lose trust in yourself. Doubt sets in, and your self-esteem drops, which causes low self-confidence. That’s why it’s so important that the goals you set for yourself are realistic and achievable. Every achievement, no matter how big, strengthens your belief that you can control your life and carry out your plans.
Healthy self-esteem also means knowing that failures are part of the process. When you know you are enough, you can look at them as lessons.
Precise definition of goals
Precision in defining goals is key if you are serious about building self-confidence. This is absolutely essential. When you know exactly what you want to achieve, your actions become consistent and your choices more conscious. Every step makes sense because it leads you in a clearly defined direction. Misunderstandings, lack of motivation or a sense of overwhelm are often the result of imprecisely defined goals. Without a clear vision of where you are going, it is difficult to talk about self-confidence in action.
Precisely defined goals act like a compass – they show you the way and help you focus your energy on what really matters.
When you have a specific goal in mind, you know what is important and what is not. It is this clarity in action that strengthens your self-esteem and builds a solid foundation of self-confidence.
In order to precisely set goals, it is worth using the SMART technique. The SMART technique is a method of setting goals that helps to increase their effectiveness and achievement. The acronym SMART stands for:
- S (Specific) – a specific, precisely formulated goal,
- M (Measurable) – measurable, allowing progress to be assessed,
- A (Achievable) – achievable, realistic in the context of available resources,
- R (Relevant) – important, consistent with long-term priorities,
- T (Time-bound) – time-bound, with a clearly established deadline.
Instead of a resolution like, “I want to improve my fitness,” a SMART goal might be:
“I will run 3 times a week for 30 minutes for the next 3 months to improve my endurance and run 5 km non-stop.”
Such a goal is specific, measurable (number of training sessions, time), achievable (with the right plan), relevant (if health and fitness are a priority) and time-limited (3 months).
Precise goals increase motivation. When a goal is specific, measurable, and has a deadline, it is easier to see progress. This, in turn, strengthens your commitment.
Precision also increases efficiency. When you know exactly what you want to achieve, you avoid getting distracted by less important activities. You know what supports your goals and what is a waste of time. This in turn gives you a sense of control and confidence - because you see that your actions make sense.
How to turn generalities into specifics?
One of the biggest mistakes in defining goals is using generalities like, “I want to be better” or “I want to develop.” Such statements sound ambitious, but they have no real value until they are transformed into specific goals. So what to do?
First, clarify what “better” means to you. What are some areas you want to improve in? What specific things would you like to change? Instead of “I want to be a better employee,” say, “I want to be more effective at work by finishing my most important task every day by noon.” That’s a goal that’s realistic and measurable.
Second, establish a way to measure your progress. If you want to “better manage your time,” state, “I want to plan my day every day and accomplish 80% of my planned tasks for the next month.” This goal gives you a clear measure of success.
Third, set a time frame. Without one, it’s easy to put off your goal. Instead of “I want to get fit,” say, “I want to run 5 kilometers in 6 weeks, training 3 times a week.”
Progress monitoring
Monitoring your progress is a key part of building self-confidence. Knowing that you are making progress strengthens your motivation and reassures you that you are in control and that you are not deceiving yourself. By regularly checking what you have achieved, you can adjust your actions and better plan your next steps. It is worth keeping a progress journal in which you write down your achievements, challenges, and how you are overcoming them. This practice not only helps you monitor your progress, but also builds the habit of reflection and conscious action.
Visualizing success, or reliable support in building self-confidence
Visualization is a technique that allows you to see success before you achieve it. It is a powerful tool for building self-confidence. The power of imagination is invaluable. Picture yourself at the moment of achieving your goal. How do you feel? What do you see? What do you hear? If your goal is to run 10 kilometers, imagine the moment you cross the finish line - feel the pride, hear the applause. The more detailed the image, the stronger the impact on your motivation.
Visualization also helps you prepare for difficulties. Imagine not only success, but also the path to it: training, fatigue, small failures. How will you feel then? When you see yourself overcoming these obstacles, your self-confidence grows. You know that you can overcome difficulties and confidently achieve your goal.
Defining your goals precisely is essential to achieving them. Specific goals provide clarity, increase motivation, and increase effectiveness. Turning general desires into measurable goals allows you to feel confident in your actions. When combined with the success visualization technique, they become a powerful tool on the way to achieving what you really want. Thanks to this, each day becomes another step towards success, and you gain confidence that you have control over your life.
How does self-confidence affect decision-making?
Confidence is also the ability to make decisions. It is what separates confident people from those who are still waiting for the perfect moment. And the truth is: the perfect moment does not exist. It is a myth that stops you from taking action. Confident people understand that success comes from action here and now, not from waiting for the perfect conditions. Every choice, even if it leads to a mistake, is a lesson. Every lesson is a tool that arms you with the experience you need to continue. No decision is no movement, and without movement there is no progress.
Taking responsibility involves risk – you can’t always be sure that you’re making the best choice. But confident people know that inaction is the biggest loss. Their confidence comes from the belief that they can handle the consequences of their choices. They treat every challenge as an opportunity to grow. They aren’t afraid of making mistakes because they know that they’re an integral part of building self-confidence. True strength comes when you decide to act, even though there’s no guarantee of success. It’s the courage to make a choice that builds your identity and strengthens your belief in your own capabilities.
Making decisions with confidence requires first and foremost a clear vision of what you want. Think about what you really want in your life. Imagine yourself in the future—where would you like to be? What kind of person do you want to become? Every decision, even the seemingly trivial ones, will either bring you closer to or further away from that goal. Knowing what you want and what you value makes choices easier. This is where emotional intelligence comes in—the ability to recognize your emotions, which can influence your choices. Understanding where your fears or desires come from will allow you to make more informed choices.
Self-confidence is built through consistent decision-making, even the smallest ones. Every small choice you make strengthens your self-esteem. The more often you make decisions, the more you believe in your abilities. It is also important to accept that not every choice will bring the expected result. However, even these difficult experiences strengthen your self-confidence. They are the ones that teach you flexibility, adaptation and coping with difficult situations.
Remember that every choice involves giving up other options. Confident people accept this fact and don’t dwell on their choices. They are able to draw conclusions, but they don’t let doubts paralyze them. Knowing that you have control over your life is a powerful feeling. You don’t have to anticipate every possible scenario—you just have to be ready to face whatever comes.
The decision-making process should also include analyzing the data you have. A rational approach allows you to separate emotions from facts and make an informed choice. However, even the best analysis is no substitute for action.
Every decision you make, whether it ends in success or failure, is a step towards building self-confidence. It is the action, taking risks and drawing conclusions that make you feel confident in every situation. Self-confidence is not the absence of doubts, but the willingness to act despite them.
Self-confidence is not an innate strength, it's a skill!
Building self-confidence is a long-term process that requires commitment and work on yourself. It is not worth striving for artificial, excessive self-confidence, but focus on the authentic one that will lead us to success.
Changing the perception of self-confidence from a natural gift to a skill that can be developed is the first step in the right direction. It means that we are not doomed to lack self-confidence. It will not come easily, it is a skill that must be worked hard for. It is important to remember that self-confidence is within your reach, you just have to reach for it!
